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  • Be still my beaten liver. We have indeed stumbled upon the alcoholic's Shangri La. I went here every single night but one during my fortnight in Madison. If this isn't one of the 5 best bars I've been in, then I don't know bars. And damn it, I KNOW BARS. I loved my nights at the Crystal so much that I was inspired to compose a sonnet about the place. I call it: LONNY'S SONNET 46 Shall I compare thee to a Maker's Mark? Thou art as classic and as wonderful: The staff was surly and the lighting, dark. Pool, darts, live music, not a moment dull: I drank, and laughed, and danced, and eased my mind, Though years of drinking has left my mind dimm'd; Still I dare not stem my brain cells' decline - I'd rather they be bourboned, whiskeyed, ginned. But thy eternal last call shall not fade Nor lose possession of the tab I owe'st; Nor shall I kiss and tell, if I get laid By a drunk lass who makes my member grow'st. So long as I have cash, and you've whiskey So long l drink, and give tips to Patti.
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