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| - Please, people! For the love of God, stay home! Do not come to Matt's Big Breakfast.
You will not enjoy the crispy, fresh hash browns. You would not like the weekend specials, such as huevos rancheros with fresh salsa, or scrambles made with seasonal, organic ingredients. A cheese and mushroom omelette will not appeal to you. They do not serve delicious Wildflower Bread toasted with most entrees. The coffee will not be piping hot and the iced tea will certainly not be tasty and delightful.
And whatever you do, please do not order one of the waffles made from scratch. They come dusted with powdered sugar, served with warm syrup and a big scoop of butter. You probably wouldn't like it.
If, for some unknown reason, you found yourself at Matt's for lunch, you would not enjoy the Butter Burger. It would not be served on a delicious roll and topped with gooey melty cheese and a thick slice of tomato. No it wouldn't. The macaroni salad is not an excellent substitute for the kettle chips that normally accompany said Burger.
For the last time, please stay away. May I recommend you get your breakfast on at the perfectly adequate U.S-Egg-Good-Peep, or First Watch? The lines at Matt's are long enough as it is, and the regulars are getting cranky about it.
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