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| - ATTENTION VEGAS-TOURISTS: A WORD ABOUT "LAVO"
I've been to Lavo a few times - mostly because other less-experienced parties have dragged me there. As someone that's actually partaken of their services as a guest, (as opposed to being an employee of Lavo like most of the recent reviews on this site [ahem]) let me be the one to tell you:
-- Some of the claims made by these 5-star-reviewing, Lavo Employees are at least, supernaturally inflated and at most, just patentedly false.
Lavo's kind of a sad place that appears to have spent an inordinate amount of cash on decor, architecture & efforts to reinvigorate a club/restuarant that never really took off since its inception. It's like the stepchild of Tao which is a less-than-authentic Asian club/restaurant as well but is really popular with us members of the Asian crowd making it a destination club for tourists and, to a nauseating degree, other guys that simply like hounding Asian women.
But unfortunately, Lavo doesn't even have that going for it. If Tao is the Dr. Evil of Night Clubs, Lavo is like Mini Me: It's tiny and not really useful for anything.
Here's a few things to consider:
-- 15 FAKE REVIEWS: Their staff appears to have posted an onslaught of clearly artificial 5-star reviews from 0/1 people who'd never visited Yelp before over a span of a week, (Look at the reviews between 7/8 - 7/13) I assume because Lavo can't get any of their real patrons to post positive experiences.
-- LESS THAN 3-STARS: They've got an average of 3-stars across 120+ reviews when you filter out the one-and-dones. In fact, prior to their desperate & fraudulent review posts, the club was trending DOWNWARD below their historical average of 3-stars.
-- TINY: I love how the fake reviews of this place try to spin this as a positive. The first time I walked in to Lavo, it was on a Friday & I was reminded of the famed movie quote, "You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." As I passed the predominantly male, sweaty & oversexed crowd, I realized that part of what really turned me off was how Lavo was just 'ultra lounge' size but was trying to be a 'nightclub' big. The bottom line is that Lavo's diminutive size means that there's really nowhere to escape the Affliction shirt-donning, Axe-bodyspray wearing, frosted tips-sporting guys with tribal arm band tattoos & tattered jeans. There's always gonna be some liquored up dude listening in on your conversation and butting in to say, "HeyhowYOUdoin'?" So have fun ladies.
-- WEAK SAUCE CUISINE: Lavo's original menu was probably so poorly received they scrapped the whole Mediterranean theme for an Italian one. (Because we all love jumping up & down to hiphop after eating a starchy meal of pasta, right?) They appear to have kept the kitchen intact because I've had both menus & the menu items appear interesting but the resulting food is consistently mediocre. Jesus Lavo: How can you f'up Linquini & Clam Sauce? Better yet, how do you not serve lasagna at an Italian restaurant?
-- GHOST TOWN: I've been dragged to Lavo on two occasions where there was nobody & I mean NOBODY around. Get ready for a similar experience if you go any day other than Friday or Saturday, and on those days, it's...
-- SAUSAGE CITY: On the nights that there are actually people there, the club has a very oddly slanted ratio toward guys. Basically, it's clear this isn't where the hooked up ladies want to be for whatever reason. (The Palazzo's ladies must be going to a club where things are done 'right', like across the bridge at Encore's XS) To be honest, it's mostly amateur night in the club which kind of makes sense when you consider most of the overflow from Tao, i.e. folks that have no hookup or are noobs to Vegas club scene, matriculates to Lavo.
-- TOP 40: Hope you like MTV "TRL-esque" music like Lady Gaga, Flo Rida, Ne-Yo, and everything else they play ad nauseum on Power106 in LA because they're gonna play it over and over and over again until it's burned into your cranium, repeating the same Top 40 music every 30-60 minutes.
Only one positive:
The only reason they get an extra star is the decor is VERY pretty and it's clear that a lot of money's been put into it. Whomever their designer is gets two thumbs up for having a very elegant touch and a knack for lighting. That being said, they misfired on virtually everything else. Music, food, crowd flow. Their service is frankly a crapshoot: I've had attentive, smiling waiters there, and I've had complete morons serving us, or should I say, FORGETTING ABOUT US. Hopefully, they'll someday get their act together but as of right now, their staff clearly does not 'hum' together as one unit.
2-stars.
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