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| - My wife and I decided to stay at the Westin Kierland to celebrate our wedding anniversary this last weekend (4/19/2014).
You know how sometimes before a weekend you are looking forward to you envision how you think it will be? I envisioned getting a nice room when we checked in and then going down to the pool where we would have a couple of lounge chairs by the pool and frosty drinks brought to us by an attentive wait staff. Maybe a few trips around the lazy river and a nice lunch by the pool. After a few hours head back in to the room to get changed and go down for a nice glass of wine in the courtyard and then have a great dinner. Maybe the next morning after breakfast go back to enjoy a few hours by the pool again and then head home totally re-charged from a nice relaxing weekend. That's what I had envisioned for my stay at this property.
Here is how the reality turned out:
We arrived at 1:00 and were able to get checked in, the front desk person was very helpful. Our room was nice, located on the first floor. So far so good. I was a bit concerned when I noticed there seemed to be a lot of kids running around the facility though.
We went to the pool and it was a zoo. Kids running around all over the place, screaming, and no seating whatsoever to be had. Eventually we locate a table by the bar that is baking under the sun. We take it and wait for the waiter to come by. After 20 minutes of sitting there it is very apparent we need to go to the bar to order. I go to the bar and after waiting in line for 15 minutes get an order in of a bucket of beer and a quesadilla. The bucket comes with 4 beers, but they are larger than the standard 12 ounce bottles. I think they were about $6 each or so, not that bad for pool pricing. The bar guy tells me since I ordered from the bar I have to come back to the bar to get my food, even though I am sitting 10 feet away at a table. Finally after a few trips to the bar to see if my food arrived, 20 minutes later I suspect it does. I see it sitting back on the bar but no one will help me to simply hand me my food. I have to actually wait in the bar line for 10 more minutes to have someone hand me my food. When I take the food back to the table for us to eat, I notice the quesadilla is ridiculously small. It looks like something off a kids menu, not a $12 plus tax and tip ($16 all in) appetizer. There were 4 pieces and they were very thin, one small piece of chicken in each one. I took it back to the bar to confirm that it was my order and not something meant for another table for their kids. After 10 minutes waiting in line to get someone at the bar, they informed me that I had indeed received my order. I have a picture of it here so you can see it. Overall it tasted awful and was a complete waste.
The Lazy River. Remember my visions of floating down a nice lazy river with a frosty drink? There is one at this resort, however it is treated more like a ride at a theme park. You have to go stand in line with 50 screaming kids until you get the tube to float. You get one trip around and then off the tube and back in line. The line takes 20 minutes or so.
Overall the pool scene was complete chaos. No seating, terrible service, and their food is an absolute overpriced joke. There is nothing relaxing about being there. In fact the only relief comes when you leave this resort. After seeing what they served us at the pool for "food" we decided against having dinner and room service at the resort. We live in the area and know Kierland has great restaurants just a short walk away.
The next morning we went to the breakfast buffet. It was about 7:30 and we were hopeful we would beat the crowd. We were seated outside. To our right this kid started screaming "bird, bird, bird" over and over at the top of his lungs. Then he started waiving his knife around. The parents were trying though and did suggest their child try to communicate with the bird using ESP rather than yelling. To my left was a little girl who was running around then went to face the wall and scratch at it for about 15 minutes. Inside the restaurant it was mobbed with kids running around. I thought I was at Chucky Cheese for a moment. We finished breakfast, which actually was pretty good and the buffet priced not that bad ($24 per adult).
We decided to see if we could get a second try at the pool. It was about 9:30 and maybe the pool would not be crowded and we could get a few hours relaxing there. Um, no. There were huge lines of parents and their kids, each line was probably 75 to 100 deep. Waiting for the pool to open. It was going to be an absolute zoo again shortly.
The greatest relief was leaving the resort. If you have kids, this is the place for you. If you are looking for a relaxing adult weekend, this is not the place.
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